So….I was having one of those OH MY GOD I AM NEARLY 30 panics recently. You know, when it suddenly hits you that if you entered the X Factor you would be in the ‘overs’ category, in the excellent company of Wagner, Stevi Ritchie and Sam Bailey *shudders uncontrollably* and you start to mourn the loss of simpler, care-free days.
I’m talking about when all you had to worry about was whether you had finished your history homework, whether you’d kept enough of your EMA aside for your driving lesson that night (oops, accidentally spent it all in the school vending machines because pizza at 10am break time and pasta with chips at lunch just isn’t enough carbs for one day) and whether you were going to be able to sneak in to the local pub on Friday night or turned away in front of the boys in the years above (THE HORROR) for not having ID and having to beg your mother to upheave the family to Nebraska IMMEDIATELY in order to avoid the sheer embarrassment in school on Monday morning.
However, when you really think about it, we do tend to look back on these times through rose tinted glasses. Sure we didn’t have all the responsibility and stress that we have now as ‘adults’ (I use this term very loosely), but actually I remember experiencing some pretty awful transition pains as a teenager in school and a young adult in university.
And so on balance, I’ve come to the conclusion that being over 25 isn’t so bad! Don’t believe me? Then check out my top 10 favourite things about being a girl in the over 25 bracket. I’ve even thrown in some absolutely horrific pieces of pictorial evidence for MEGA LOLS, because there is nothing like a bit of self deprecation to cheer up a post bank holiday Wednesday.
- After 10 years of dodge orange foundation and questionable eye make up (white eyeliner, I am talking about you hon) you have finally worked out how to contour and highlight your face beyond recognition.
2. Your parents have become your best friends.
3. You have eyebrows.
4. You have done away with that gappy/stringy/assemetrical side fringe and colour panels.
Exhibit A- Hair skills. Plus some casual bullying. And bad acting.
5. Your ‘Fear Of Missing Out’ (or FOMO as I believe the kids call it these days) has diminished. You do what you want and when you want without having to justify or please others, you sassy lil thing you.
6. You now wear ‘jeans and a generic blouse’ out. Even ‘out out’. No more squeezing yourself in to tiny body con dresses Every. Single .Friday. That level of tanning is just unsustainable.
Exhibit B- This ‘dress’ was actually a top.
7.You know how to dress and what suits you. You no longer feel the need to wear a random belt around your waist. Over a vest. Not holding anything up. With shorts. And plastic stilettos. Wow.
Exhibit C- In 2007 I wore a neck scarf. In Ibiza.
8. You have worked out that it is ok to be your slightly geeky/silly/awkward self and have given up even trying to be cool. Which as we know, is SO uncool. Someone please give a certain bar and their clientelle on Mill Lane this memo? Not naming names, but as a clue, the name of the bar rhymes with yoda 😉
9. Red wine.
10.Spelling and grammar is now a thing again. ItZ No LonGr ACcePtAbLe 2 RiTe LyK DiS. Srsly. Thank you universe. Thank you.